Androphobia
by Aloikey
Summary: The fear of men. That's what Light is diagnosed with after he is raped by an unknown man. L tries his best to save Light, but does he even want to be saved? If Light isnt Kira, then who is? LxLight Mentions Rape, rating just in case. R&R
1. Mine

**_Warnings:_**This story contains rape and other mature themes, such as language and possible homosexual relations. You have been warned.

_**Disclaimer:**___I don't own Death Note or any of its respective characters. This is written purely for the enjoyment and consumption of other DN fans. Enjoy!

_**Edited:** 6/19/2012_

I hope you enjoy the story. I am currently working on revising the next chapters.

Androphobia

Chapter 1

"Oi, Ryuuzaki!" Light said, looking up from his computer screen.

"Yes, Light-kun?" L asked, not bothering to look up. Light huffed from the lack of attention, but continued to look at L. He was nibbling on his thumb, looking for evidence of Kira. L eventually glanced over at him when he didn't continue speaking.

"I want to go out," he said, trying to leave no room for arguments. L refocused his attention on the document in front of him, thinking silently. He seemed at war within his mind, trying to figure out a compromise to make the boy- his number one Kira suspect, who he shouldn't care if he was comfortable or not- happy. And make sure he didn't try to run away.

"We all want things, Light-kun. But I suppose it couldn't hurt for you to stretch your legs. Please, be back in two hours. I don't want to have to send anyone looking for you." He said, taking time to look up at the teen. Light was smiling an actual nice smile, surprising L and the task force. They had not seen him smile since he was accused of being Kira.

"Thanks Ryuuzaki!" He said, grabbing his jacket and heading towards the door. The older man watched him go, before going back to work.

"Why did you let him go?" Matsuda asked in his childish voice. It sounded almost… jealous. L shook off the thought. There was no way gentle and kind Matsuda was jealous. His suspicion was spiked though, actually taking a chance to study the youngest member of the task force, excluding Light who was a suspect.

"Don't worry, I have men following him." That was all he said. L sighed; it was going to be a long day without Light to entertain him. Slightly surprised by his own thoughts L wasted no time trying to distract himself from the boy who had captivated his interest.

oOo

After Light left the building he knew men were following him. Besides the fact it was something he had done before, and Light heard them. Their heavy footsteps echoed throughout the streets. Their ragged breathing followed soon after. Light's eye began twitching, how loud could they possibly be? He turned around to get a good look at the men following him, when he spotted them all on the ground… dead. Light's eyes widened in shock, who had killed them and how did he not notice? Light heard the ragged breathing again. It was getting closer… closer… closer. He screamed, trying to get away.

"Where do you think you're going, my Pretty?" Light shivered at being called Pretty. He tried to run, but the man caught his arm. He tried to scream again, but the man covered his mouth with his hand. Light knew no one would help him, so he did what he could. He bit the man's hand.

oOo

Teru Mikami was following the one he thought his God, when he realized the boy had numbers. He had _**numbers**_! He was not his God! He left the boy without another thought. If he had stayed for only another minute he could have prevented a horrible crime. Rape.

oOo

"Where did Matsuda go?" Ryuuzaki asked, looking at Yagami-san in particular.

"I'm not sure Ryu-," He was cut off when Watari came running into the room. The old man slammed the door shut, breathing heavily.

"Ryuuzaki, we have a problem." Just as he said that Matsuda came back into the room. His clothes were ruffled, but otherwise he looked normal. Ryuuzaki then turned his attention back to Watari.

"What is it?"

"All the men following Light are dead," He said, to out of breath to say it much louder than a whisper. Ryuuzaki's eyes widened and they immediately went to the cameras on each man's body. What Watari had said was right; they were all lying on the ground. He rewound the footage, and found no evidence anyone killed them. Other then the fact the all fell to the ground, never to move again.

"Do you think Light is responsible of this?" He asked calmly, looking to every man's face in the room. Even Soichiro couldn't deny all the signs pointed to his son, the Kira suspect. Maybe he should just refer to his son as Kira. It might just save his time later.

"What are we going to do Ryuuzaki?" L didn't hesitate in his answer, looking at all of the task force members before uttering his answer.

"It's quite simple really. We find Light."

oOo

The man slapped Light across the face when he bit his hand. He groaned, his cheek was killing him. This guy was strong. He continued to struggle, refusing to give up.

"Now listen here Pretty, you will do what I say. You will _let _me do what I want, and you will deal with it. Got it?" The man asked, staring at Light. He said nothing, nor did he nod his head. The man waited a moment before grabbing something out of his pocket. A knife, the blade shinning with what little light the alley they moved to had. Light's eyes widened even more than they already had, and he began trying to squirm out of his reach. He watched in horror as the knife moved towards his back. His shirt was cut, and the man easily tore it off, leaving his back bare.

"This could have been resolved if you had just said yes," The man purred, scraping his back with the blade. Light gasped, trying to grasp what was going on. Was this man going to kill him like he had the others? He began carving something on Light's back; laughing at Light's pained form. When the man finished, Light had tears running down his face. The pain stung him, like needles repeatedly being inserted into his back. He felt what the man was carving into his skin. He understood exactly what was going to happen, and there was no one to help him. No one to save him from the man that would ruin him. He understood this quite easily; he even accepted it before it happened.

Light woke, groaning as a ray of the sun splashed on his eyes. He was sore, and especially his butt. He then remembered what that man had done to him, and cried. He cried, because he was too weak to fight that man off. He cried because he knew then that the old Light Yagami was no more. All that was left was a shell of what could have been, or should have been.

He crawled, desperately trying to get away from all the bad memories. They came storming back in his head as he cried, and all he wanted was to forget.

_**Flashback**_

_ "Ryuuzaki, help!" Light cried. It was his last effort to get away._

_ "What did I tell you about yelling?" The man yelled, smacking him. He reached for his pants, slowly pulling them down..._

Light woke from his nightmare, and continued to crawl. His vision was blurry, he was becoming increasingly weaker. It was blood loss, or maybe it was the shock finally catching up to him. But he had to hurry and get help if he had any hopes of surviving. He finally reached his torn pants that were discarded on the ground a few feet from where he was. He felt his phone vibrate, and he hurridly reached for the device.

"Hello?" He stuttered out, his voice so quiet it could barely be heard.

"Why did you kill them, Light?" The voice asked. Instantly Light knew it was Ryuuzaki.

"Ryuuzaki… you have to help me," he said, coughing. His health was deteriorating. If he didn't get help soon, he might not make it. He just L would listen to him for once instead of assuming the worst.

"Why would I help Kira?"

"I'm-," He broke out into more coughs.

"Light, what's wrong?" L finally caught on that something was wrong.

"He…. He…" Light couldn't say it. He didn't want L to think he was too weak to defend himself. He didn't want to be weak, he was _man_, he shouldn't have been so weak as to let the man do what he had. It wasn't fair. It. Wasn't. Fair.

"What? Light, are you okay? What happened?" L was concerned for him? It sounded genuine, and he hoped if nothing more that he was serious.

"Nothing, ju… just come get me, please. I'll… I promise I'll explain,"

"Light-kun I don't-,"

"Two minutes from H.Q…. first alley," he wiped the tears from his eyes as he said so. Admitting how close he was from safety stung even more. He was two minutes away from the place of his imprisonment. How weak did he have to be? More tears leaked from his eyes as he felt what little strength he had left flow from his body.

"… Light… fine." Ryuuzaki hung up. Light did his best to stay patient, but five minutes passed and Ryuuzaki still didn't show. He was beginning to wonder if he had miss judged his position.

oOo

Ryuuzaki stared at his phone. What had happened to Light to make him cough, and what sounded like crying? But then he thought for a moment, what if this was a trap? He decided what he would do.

oOo

Light finally heard a car pull up. Thinking it was Ryuuzaki he waved the car over. The parson that walked out was definitely not Ryuuzaki. Thinking the man was coming back he scrambled back, whimpering.

"Found him, L," The man growled into the phone in his hand.

"Where i..is Ryuuzaki?" Light asked. If this man knew L then maybe he was safe.

"Why do you care, Kira? You want to kill him? And stop acting hurt, we both know you're faking it," He said, grabbing light's arm. The man realized that the Kira suspect was wearing less clothes then what had left with. "Your shirt, what happened to it?"

"It's… I didn't have enough time to get it," he said, coughing. It was getting harder to breath. The blonde sighed, but lead him to the car. L sat patiently watching the whole thing. If he had to guess he would say Light had been in a fight or raped, but he didn't think he was raped. There was no way that he could have been taken that easily. As they entered the car L studied Light. As soon as Light saw L he wrapped his arms around him. He cried, squeezing his shirt for comfort. L didn't understand why he did what he did, but there was some feeling in him that urged him to comfort him.

"Light, what's wrong?" He asked. His hand went to his bare back, and Light hissed in pain. Ryuuzaki's eyes widened, he felt the all too familiar substance of blood on his hand. Before he moved his hand away he felt the cuts on the boy's back. Pulling his hand back, he studied the amount of blood on it. It was quite a lot, and L nervously turned the boy around. Mine. His back said _Mine_.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>Here is the revised version of it. Hopefully I'll have the others finished by the end of the week, and maybe even a full update! The plot didn't change, you may have noticed I made things a little more realistic, hopefully. If not don't be afraid to point that out. Anyway, if the next chapter doesn't a line perfectly with this I apologize.

All for now!

Crown the Empire


	2. Chapter 2

**_Warnings:_**This story contains rape and other mature themes, such as language and possible homosexual relations. You have been warned.

_**Disclaimer:**_I don't own Death Note or any of its respective characters. This is written purely for the enjoyment and consumption of other DN fans. Enjoy!

**_Edited:_ **6/19/2012

Oh dear! Two revisions done in two hours! What a day! :)

Androphobia

Chapter 2

"Light-kun, what happened?" Light cringed immediately, but said nothing. Ever persistent, Ryuuzaki would not let him get off that easily. Though it was 90% chance that Light had been raped, he hoped he was wrong. Not only was it painful, he had to live with it the rest of his life. He had to live with the constant shame, his hurt pride. Ryuuzaki wanted nothing more to go back in time and say no to Light, even if it hurt his feelings. He wanted nothing more for this to have never happened.

Ryuuzaki looked down as he felt water on his shirt. But it wasn't water; it was tears that leaked out of Light's eyes. He had started quietly, but soon his whole body racketed with sobs.

"Light, you do realize if you don't tell me anything you could be accused of Kira once again. Your percentages are rising at this very moment," He made a mental note that Light's percent was around 45% at the moment. He mentally flinched at his own tone of voice. He sounded void of emotion, even though the boy was crying his heart out.

"I'm not…. Kira," He choked out, taking time between words to cry again. Ryuuzaki looked on as he continued t cry, confused. He wasn't sure what to do with the crying boy. Remembering the cut on his back that had been left forgotten, L pulled his shirt off. Using it as a towel, he applied pressure to the boys back. He didn't want him bleeding out more then he already was.

"Aiber, step on it. Take us to the closest hospital," He said, glancing at Light. He had become very stiff in his arms after he said so. Was he worried they would find something? Sighing in relief, he felt the blood pumping out of Light's body come to a halt.

oOo

Light groaned, and opened his eyes. It was very bright… had he died? He shook the thought away as he heard the voices around him.

"He's waking up, get a doctor!" a nurse yelled, standing over him. He looked around the room, and saw his father sitting there with his mother and sister. Ryuuzaki was on the other side of the room, looking at him intently. He looked up, and saw a male doctor walk in. He immediately tried to move, he didn't want this man near him. As the man got closer, Ryuuzaki began to notice the fear in Light's eyes. He swiftly stood and walked over to the other doctor.

"Do you have any female doctors on hand?" He asked in a whisper.

"Yes, why?" The doctor asked.

"I believe Light has Androphobia. He was raped, correct?"

"Unfortunately we don't get results on rape back immediately, but we have found… "The man paused to look at Light, "Maybe we should continue this outside? I'll send in another doctor." Ryuuzaki nodded his thanks, and looked back over at Light. His demeanor had changed, he seemed more relaxed, as relaxed as he possibly could get. You could see the anxiety in his eyes, the remembrance of what happened.

"Yes, I think that would be best," He nodded, following the doctor out of the room.

"What were you saying?"

"We swabbed him to get any samples of DNA we could. We figured that if he was raped it would help catch the man that had done it. There were traces of semen in and around his anal region. He… the cuts were preformed with what we believe, due to the size of the cuts, was caused by an ordinary switchblade. We can only assume his assailant was alone until we have time to question him about it. The cut on his back will scar, there is really nothing we can do with that as of now. It wasn't too deep, but it was good you stopped the bleeding. Clogging the blood was the best and only thing you could have done to help him. You may have even saved his life by doing so."

"Thank you, doctor. I'll relay some of the information to the family," The doctor nodded and took his leave, telling one of the nurses to get a female doctor assigned to the room. L stepped back into the room in time to see Light fully awake talking to his father.

"What's wrong with me?" It was his father that answered him.

"You have a concussion, and they say you were possibly raped. Tell me that's not true!" His father sounded almost pleading, but not for the reason you would think. If the police found out, everyone would know he had a weak son. One that couldn't defend himself.

"… It is," He choked out, expecting sympathy and anger. What he didn't expect was anger pointed at _him_. He wished even more now that he had kept his mouth shut about it.

"How could you let it happen, how could you?" His father roared at him. He squirmed back, he didn't want his father near him. Ryuuzaki immediately stepped forward.

"Your son was raped, and that is all you have to say to him? How he could let it happen? That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Rape _victims_ don't want it to happen. That's why they're called victims. Now either be a real father or leave," L said angrily, actually he was pissed. The fact that he would say such things to his emotionally unstable son… was disturbing. Either way, if he found he did one thing to make Light hurt, Soichiro would have hell to pay.

Light watched in pain as his father left him. In his most vulnerable moment the man he had looked up to for years left him because he was raped. The tears once again began to fall, and he felt shame. If his father couldn't accept him, would Ryuuzaki? Of course, unless he really thought he was Kira. Was he? No, definitely not. If he was Kira he would have killed the man that raped him in an instant.

"Oh Light, I'm so sorry," His mother came up and gave him a squeeze. He gasped, and she immediately let him go. "Oh dear, I forgot about… that," She broke off, tears beginning to leak from her eyes.

"No matter what dad said, we'll always be here for you," Sayu said, giving her brother a reassuring look. He gave her a pained smile, he really appreciated it. At least some of his family still loved him.

"Ryuuzaki, when can I leave?" Light said, looking down. He didn't want to see his friends face.

"The new doctor will be here in a little, I can ask her when you are stable enough to leave," Light nodded his head, before lying back down in his bed. His eyes, unseeing stared up to the ceiling.

oOo

"Light-kun, wake up," Light jerked awake as he heard the familiar voice of L. "We have permission to leave now," Light thanked the women that was standing by, watching the scene before her. She nodded her head, giving him a smile before holding open the door for him. He limped out of the room, satisfied with himself that he was able to make it the whole way without help.

Light sat in the backseat of the car, glancing out the window. Every time he saw a man, he would look away and glance at L. L would act like he didn't notice, but Light knew otherwise. He was sitting in his usual position, meaning his deductive and observation skills skyrocketed. Light sighed, and glanced at his hands. He couldn't bear to look into L's eyes. He was expecting to see disappointment and hate, just like his father. But what he didn't know was that L _was _disappointed; in himself. L blamed the whole thing on himself, if only he went along. He could have stopped this from happening. If only he…

Light realized when he looked at Ryuuzaki he could see the guilt in his eyes… so he thought this was his own fault!

"Stop it, Ryuuzaki!" Light croaked out, his throat still hurt from crying and yelling so much.

"What's wrong, Light?" L asked gently, showing emotions he normally hid behind a mask.

"You think it's your fault! Why? It was… it was…" Light sobbed, he couldn't finish his sentence. Partly because he didn't want to relieve it, and because he didn't _know_ who did it. Ryuuzaki immediately understood, and placed a comforting hand on Light's shoulder. Instead of pulling away like Ryuuzaki thought he would, he leaned in closer. Right now he wanted comfort, something no one else offered. They were afraid that they'd scare him away. Though he wouldn't admit it, he _liked _being this close to Ryuuzaki.

"Will you be ok, Light?" Ryuuzaki hadn't meant to say it, but it just slipped out of his mouth.

"I don't know, Ryuuzaki," Light answered, glancing away.

"I assume you heard of your… phobia," L stated, looking at Light. He had to tread carefully with this, Light might be in denial. An emotionally disturbed boy in denial was not good, Ryuuzaki knew this well.

"Yeah, I heard you tell the doctor," He said, embarrassed.

"Having a phobia is nothing to embarrassed about, you know," Ryuuzaki muttered, grabbing a piece of candy from his pocket.

"I know," He whispered. He then remembered something.

"What about Kira?"

"What about him, Light?"

"Are we still working on the case?"

"I suppose, if you wanted to continue,"

"Yes, it would give me something to do!" He said, with what little excitement he could.

"You would have to work with the task force, you know," Light blanched, he had to work with… men? He shivered, but realized he _knew_ those men. That didn't stop him from getting nervous, though. As they got out of the car, they entered H.Q. L lead him to their room, where he instantly collapsed.

L watched Light in silence, wondering what was to come tomorrow. Unconsciously the boy scooted closer to the detective as he sat on the bed. L, without even thinking about it, rubbed the boy's head. Feeling the silky hair beneath his fingers, he hesitantly pulled away. Stunned by his own actions, he jumped up and stared into the mirror. What was Light doing to him? Reaching almost hesitantly, he touched his face, the face that usually held no emotions. And yet he noticed something, he looked different. He didn't want to admit it, but he felt different as well.

Finding his actions almost immature he slowly approached the bed once again. Despite what had happened, dare he say that Light seemed to retain some sort of peace in his sleep. Lowering himself on the bed, he felt the boy snuggle up to him completely. He was feeling hot, but he allowed the boy to do as he pleased. Besides, he figured after what had happened today he deserved whatever comfort he desired.

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: I hope you enjoyed that little revised chapter there. If any of you are The Informant readers, I expect to have that updated by next week sometime! If any of the chapter makes you confused, please feel free to pm me or review to ask questions.

Thanks for reading,

Crown the Empire


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